from earlier today

God,

I feel so down right now about the situation here at my job. I am having a really hard time with the insight my coworker has given. I know that he is trying to help me, and I really appreciate it. But if what he says is true - and I believe that it is - then the reality that I face these last days here is tenuous. I have never thought that my actions would be under so much scrutiny, that whether I am in the bathroom for a long amount of time, or taking a snack break would matter.

I hate feeling like this. I don't even feel comfortable taking a lunch break right now, because it feels as though my every action is being weighed. I hate ADHD for the negative impact it has on my life. I am so sorry to complain, because I have life so good, but I cannot hold my feelings in.

Even as I weep right now, I feel a lot of turmoil within me. I really need your help in focusing, concentrating, being productive. My work situation nearly mandates that I sit in front of my computer, working hard to produce results. That my bathroom breaks are being monitored upsets me very much.

Right now I don't even want to talk to anyone around me. Even my coworker, who is only trying to help me. I just want to get this day over with.

Help me, O God! You can fix any situation. If it is within your will for this situation to be fixed, then please do it.

Words like these from one whose opinions I trust are tempting me to worry about the future. You know the future - I don't. You know the awesome plans you have for me. Lord, I value your opinion of me way more than that of those around me. Please help me not to be a people pleaser, yet at the same time to be godly in everything I do - that while I am at work that I can give everything I have to it.

This work I am to be doing does not interest me that much anymore. Please help me to give my heart to it anyway. I need help in being professional right now.
You made me and you know me. You know how to motivate me. I am asking you to do it.

I don't even feel like making phone calls or trying to follow up on stuff of a personal nature while I am here.

Thank you for hearing my prayer and loving me unconditionally. Your grace and mercy sustain me.

I love you, abba Father.

Your son, Dan