God,

Hi there. I'm listening to the song "My Sacrifice" by the band Creed. It reminds me of when I first became a Christian and was sold out to you. My life was a lot simpler back then, of course, but I was sold out in my heart to you.

Since that time I feel that I've pulled back in my heart from you. But at the same time, I feel that I've been able to be more emotional with you. I've grown in my understanding of your grace. I recognize that my perfectionism does not leave room for your grace when it comes to spiritual matters. I understand that you don't expect me to be perfect; you want me to be righteous, to be great at admitting my weaknesses. Seeing these words helps me to realize that I've got a long way to go.

I know that over these last 11 years I've been inconsistent in my devotion to you. I first decided to make Jesus "Lord" over my life November 17, 1991. That was a relatively easy decision to make; I made it, however, with the understanding that I would need help living the life on a daily basis.

The basics of living as your disciple are not as prevalent in my life now as they were when I first came to know you. At the same time I need to recognize that my role has changed since then. I've become a husband and father, a member of the laborforce-full time. My time is not my own so much as it was 10 years ago. I understand that I need to fulfill my responsibilities in these roles as part of my relationship with you.

I also sense an incredible need to rely on you. Especially with this medicine I'm taking; it makes me so drowsy. As I mentioned before, when I'm in the situation in which I cannot rest... or I'm distracted by my sleepiness, I tend to do things to keep me stimulated: get some coffee or cola, move my leg in a fidgeting motion, or pick at scabs.

I have never felt so weak as I have this year, Lord. I really need your help in persevering.

I love you.

Your son,
Danny