Dear God,

O Heavenly Father, I feel so troubled right now. I feel like I'm letting you down and my family as well. I've been unemployed for so long, and I've seen our family go from simply struggling to make ends meet to go toward a downward spiral. I feel like we're being engulfed in this financial quagmire. I feel responsible.

Perhaps if I'd been a better employee, things wouldn't have become like this. Perhaps if I'd have gotten a different job in a different trade. I feel like I'm doing nothing while our family continues to get more and more behind on our bills. Some of our creditors have written us off as bad debt. I am getting tired of all the phone calls, having to screen every call, erasing the messages from creditors who want money from us that we do not have.

Even more than that, I was confronted by a brother in Christ today, who reiterated his concern for me spiritually not being able to take care of my family. Hearing this hurt my heart, and I can see the truth in what he was saying.

God, I want to please you with my life, and I feel so depressed right now. I am so troubled in my spirit. Tears welling up in my eyes as I write this. I cannot go to sleep tonight, right now, because I need to get this out.

I want to be able to financially support my family. I used to be able to do that with the job I was working at a year ago. Now we're in this big mess. The mortgage company is about to accelerate our mortgage and begin foreclosure proceedings. We've almost had our gas turned off. We did have our electricity shut off last week.

I don't like feeling so anxious about my life, and I'm tempted to feel that I'm worthless. That all that I've been living for these last few months is been a bunch of crap.

Lord, I know that Satan wants me to feel defeated. I don't know how to just be responsible for the stuff in my life without going from one extreme to another.

At the same time, I know that I need to take what is being said with a bit of a grain of salt.

God, please help me. I feel so confused as to what your will is. I often don't even feel like bringing this to you because I know it seems so minor and insignificant to you, compared with everything else you do. But help me to see you through all of this, O Lord, my savior!

I don't like being depressed. I don't like being in this situation. I want peace. I want to be responsible again, and I feel that so much of our lives financially is out of my control.

Lord, lead me to the kind of work you want me to do, and please help me to get a job in that field. Oh Lord, please bless me according to your will.

Also, God, I pray to use constructive means of dealing with my anxiety. I am so tempted right now to just tear into the scabs on my body. I have a scab on the back of my head, a little one on my forehead. I can feel the urge to scratch my legs until they bleed.

God, I need a hug! I feel so helpless, Father! Tears are rushing down my face as I type this. I need you!